i often wonder what a future with you
would be like
would we have a house in the forest
or live in a high rise apartment
while we get drunk off cheap wine
and pass out in an empty bathtub
while reciting our most cliche words
about each other
would we even fight at all
or just settle every argument
with aggressive love making
inside our piece of shit shower
but to be honest
i don’t care what our future consists of
just as long as i have a future
with you

he may say that he loves you
but does he know to be fragile
with your glass bones
and porcelain skin
like i do?
does he know about your
apathetic words
and to trust the look in your eyes
more than the syllables from your lips
anyone can proclaim their love
just because they may be infatuated
by your beauty
but no one can understand the pattern
at which you think
and love you
like i can

i don’t care if your skin is covered in make up
and your eyes covered in black
i don’t care if your lips are fragile
or if crowded places give you a panic attack
i don’t care if your eyes shimmer
at the thought of your past
and i don’t care if you don’t kiss me first
as long as you kiss me back
and i don’t care if your feeling sorry
because i’m feeling down myself
but i just wish you could stop caring so much
and instead start loving yourself

how is it that
i can write a thousand poems
describing the rhythm of your heartbeat
and the skin on your lips
but i can’t even bare
to look into your pale blue eyes
for more than six seconds
and speak the three syllables
that have the power
to change it all

my eyes are heavy
as i wake up at 3:47 am
and can hear the sonnet
that your heartbeat sings
i don’t want to go back to sleep
because at 3:47 am i just want to
lie and listen
to the pattern in your breathing
and feel the texture of your skin
part of me wishes you would wake up
and give me that look
where you’re diving into my eyes
but then suddenly fall back to sleep
without warning
because at 3:47 am everything you do
makes me fall even more
in love with you

i don’t care if your skin is covered in make up
and your eyes covered in black
i don’t care if your lips are fragile
or if crowded places give you a panic attack
i don’t care if your eyes shimmer
at the thought of your past
and i don’t care if you don’t kiss me first
as long as you kiss me back
and i don’t care if your feeling sorry
because i’m feeling down myself
but i just wish you could stop caring so much
and instead start loving yourself

you remind me of sunday mornings, and the first day of rain. the smell of fresh laundry, and the drugs that rid me of pain. you remind me of the last day of school, and the first day of spring. the feeling of sun on my skin, and my first time on a swing. but you also remind me of motion sickness car rides, and a slamming door. the pounding in my head, and a tear stained floor. you remind me of shattered windows, and broken bones. so please tell me how am i supposed forget you, when i can’t even open my eyes and look around, without being reminded, that i am alone.

You often mistake my introverted self and need to be alone as being rude. If I did want to be around people right now, I can assure you it would be you. But, I don’t. I need to be alone. Alone with my thoughts, alone with my bed, alone with the trees, alone. Because how I am supposed to grow when I feel claustrophobic and paralyzed. I can’t. I need to be alone. I want to be alone. But I can still assure you, that if I wanted to be around someone right now, it would be you.

i’m not quite sure how to describe
how my love differs from yours
the only way i can explain it to you is
you’ll forever be the blood
that swims through my veins
and i’ll forever be the chalk on the sidewalk
that is forgotten as soon as it rains

she tells me she loves me
and i don’t want to say ‘i love you too’
how empty and cliche does that sound… ‘i love you too’
it sounds bleak and obligated…
i don’t want to say i love you too
i want to say i love the way your lips shake
when i’m seconds away from kissing you
how you play with your hands when you’re nervous
and tell me everything you’ve been through
i want to say that i love the way you whisper
when it’s just you and me
your soft and gentle voice
could calm a roaring river or an angry sea
so i don’t want to fucking say that ‘i love you too’
because those words don’t do justice
for the love that i have for you